Can You Hear Me Now?
My parents used to laugh because I’d get mostly As and Bs on my report card for school subjects, but Cs in conduct – because I talked a lot. And if you’ve been on a call with me, I’ve probably told you that I can talk about my subject 24/7. When I was a kid, I stretched out the cord on the telephone on the wall so I could talk to my friends after school.
People don’t talk as much anymore… and that’s actually a bad thing. (Me? Why no, I don’t talk to myself. But I talk to my cats all the time.)
Human speech is pretty amazing
We’re not the only animals that “talk”, of course. Among other species, whales are known to communicate with each other, birds have songs, and cats talk to their kittens. (When they meow as adults, they’re mostly trying to communicate with their humans.)
Speech is pretty universal in the human experience. No matter what language or background you come from, you pick up speech from the people around you. From babyhood through adulthood, we communicate with each other through speech. (Though sometimes the speech can be through hand gestures, like American Sign Language.)
As you know (at least if you’ve been reading my content!), the human species survived through cooperation with each other. Speech is a huge part of that, and as a result, the human ear can pick up lots of nuances just from hearing someone talk. Even if they don’t necessarily know the other person.
Digital methods of communication are not only much more imprecise, but can leave people feeling more isolated. I found out the hard way that even mild sarcasm doesn’t translate over email, even to clients that you’ve worked with for a while. (I got chewed out both by the client and my boss, which I felt was an overreaction.)
Importantly, the human brain doesn’t recognize texts or emails or comments on posts as social interaction. While you might get a hit of dopamine from seeing the notification pop up, your brain doesn’t recognize that you’re talking to a human. Largely because you’re not.
Since we survived as a social species, not having enough social time can make you feel isolated, lonely, and maybe even depressed. Our brains are hardwired for some amount of social interaction, and if you’re not getting it, your brain thinks you’re in trouble. As always, the amount of social interaction depends on you since introverts and extroverts need different amounts to feel satisfied.
Getting out and talking to people is one way to satisfy this. Over the phone seems to work as well since you’re getting the voice even if you can’t see the person’s face.
Doesn’t Zoom (videoconferencing) make you more productive?
As many people do, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with Zoom. It definitely expands my market, because I can help people in the Pacific NW, east coast, and all areas in between since I can work virtually.
Having said that, living in Long Beach means I’m very close to LA and Orange County, so I have a large local market to work with that I can see in person. I love working in person and do it as much as I can.
Zoom fatigue is a real thing – there are plenty of articles about it. Trying to divide your attention between a bunch of different headshots is actually very taxing to the brain (remember multi-tasking is not possible). The attention split is draining, even though you might feel like you’re not doing anything.
Shifting as much conversation and collaboration to in-person spaces is much less draining, and can help you feel less isolated if that’s something you’re struggling with.
How to talk more in-person
I haven’t quite made up my mind whether I’m leaving Facebook or not. There are clear reasons for and against, at least for me. But if I do make the decision to quit, I’ll be asking for phone numbers so I can keep in touch with (some of) my FB friends.
I won’t let go of videoconferencing completely. (Traffic in LA is as absolutely ridiculous as you’ve heard it is.)
But I’m trying to stay in contact with people near me in person as much as possible. I’m meeting someone today at a coffee shop to discuss supporting women entrepreneurs in Long Beach specifically. I ran into someone in a virtual room and we’ll be meeting in the next couple of weeks too.
There is always the phone. If you’re feeling Zoom fatigue, maybe calling someone instead of FaceTiming or whatever can help you feel connected but not as drained.
I find when I talk to people that a LOT of us want to go back to more in-person meetings and chats. Maybe you can start a group, and if that’s too much, reach out to a friend to chat. Even if they’re far away. Asynchronous communications work in business, at least some of the time, but your brain doesn’t.
And if it’s good for your brain, it’s good for productivity. Give your brain a little love and reach out to talk to someone for a friendly visit.
Recap (tl;dr)
Humans rely on other humans, and speech is a big part of that. Digital and asynchronous communication doesn’t help with a sense of isolation, but talking to friends and/or family definitely does.
Want more tips on staying productive without giving up the things you enjoy in life? My newsletter comes twice a month (and if you’re a reader, I always have suggestions!) Link here: https://www.jenniferjank.com/team-animal
Photo by Giulia May on Unsplash.